butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
