Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
