She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
