I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
