i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
