just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
