He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
