Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
