Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
