I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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