why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
