i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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