Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
