Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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