Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize