so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
