I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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