my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
