making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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