what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
