My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
