I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
