Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
