Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
