I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
