trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
