If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He passed out mid-signature
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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