Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
