susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
