Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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