If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
