New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
