the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
