Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

don't go home with that guy from jersey

(626): View more from California

i know, not worth the blood test

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(937): View more from Ohio

Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date

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(719): View more from Colorado

If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?

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(778): View more from British Columbia

He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup

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(605): View more from South Dakota

seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?

Fav 9 1094 658
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(785): View more from Kansas

I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...

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