so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
