Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think my vagina is haunted
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize