I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
