I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
