the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
