worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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