Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
