don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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