Where is the hickey?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
