she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
