Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
