Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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