So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
