i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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