i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
