Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize