why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
