i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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