You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
