suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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