You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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