hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
