I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
