yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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