chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
