she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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